character story: her wild would not be tamed.
Person: A woman, perhaps in her early twenties, leaving her apartment in the middle of the night.
She wasn't like most girls, a fact she grew up hating but lately was learning to love. The possibilities were endless in her mind. She could do anything almost, if she could just figure out which thing to choose. Her passions reached far and wide. She could see the big picture of her life with no single interest taking over.
She'd had enough. Pulling on the strap of the duffle bag weighing heavily over her shoulder, she walked, determined, out of her post-college and supposedly grown-up apartment and to the old Camry in the one parking spot to her name. She turned the key in the ignition, feeling her thoughts fire up along with the engine. There was anger in the mix this time. And that's why she had to leave.
This wasn't the life for her. She was meant for more. She had always been meant for more. And she'd never known why she thought that. She felt ungrateful for her mediocre, normal life. She didn't need the stability of normality that most people wished for. A wave of guilt passed over her, but she had no time for that. She'd been over this. It wasn't bad for her to want more. She shouldn't feel guilty for always dreaming. She knew her capabilities and just how far she could be pushed.
She knew the scope of her accomplishments could be greater than she'd even imagined. Her life could really mean something. She could have a purpose. A real one. But instead, she felt stuck. She had to get out and go where her soul was taking her.
She'd tried so many times––getting into her so-called life at this point, trying to do all the socially accepted things, adapting to what people close to her expected. Sometimes she had even fooled herself into thinking she could do it, that she could be the person everyone thought she should be. That's where nights like this came from. She couldn't, she wouldn't, sell her very self.
Tonight, she needed that sense of freedom she never felt anymore. The wind, waves, stars and moon were pulling her away. It felt cliché, but she needed the restlessness of the ocean to give her peace. The shroud of night would be her protection. Her thoughts, desires, imaginations and realizations would run wild. She could taste it.
It wouldn't fix her. It never had. Why was it that she was broken over limitations? Over the system? It made her feel selfish, and now she could only keep driving for the relief ahead. She couldn't address the reasons––not just yet.
She felt tonight would at least bring her back to a neutral place. That's what had happened before. But this couldn't go on forever. She wanted more than just a reset. Tonight things would be different. She would not return the same.
And she would not let herself be tamed.